Romans 5:7-9

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Friday, October 24, 2008

"Having Kids Makes You Happy"

In the July 7-14, 2008 issue of Newsweek magazine, Lorraine Ali wrote an article with the same title as this post. The major premise was this: people who have kids are not statistically happier than those who remain childless. She purports that this American cultural expectation has confused (and even in some cases) mislead young "marrieds" regarding the issue of child-rearing. While I don't intend here to try to dispute the conclusions drawn by the statistical studies cited in her article, or to investigate the groups who funded that research, I do feel obligated to challenge them on the surface.

At least one of the studies concluded that most parents are not happier ,having had children, because they end up "lament their lack of sleep, hectic schedules, and difficulty dealing with their surly teens." Though the studies seem to support findings that conclude that people who never had children typically report "significantly greater emotional well-being", apparently demonstrating that, simply having children is not the key to happiness and a healthy life, as so espoused by modern American culture.

I believe that a great deal of the article does contain sociological truths, truths not challenged by biblical propositions. The bible gives several historical accounts where the children brought great pain to their parents. Take Adam, Isaac and David for instance, regarding the actions of their sons: Adam's son Cain and both of Isaac's sons, Jacob and Esau, and David's son Absolom; surely Adam, Isaac and David would say that their children, sad as it is, made their lives very difficult. So I don't think the biblical expectation of married couples is to find their ultimate happiness in their progeny, nor is finding happiness in them the reason for having children; the embedded cultural expectation that they are statistically shown to increase health and happiness in a qualitative manner is not true. Which leads to the disagreement I do have with the article, that, because children cannot guarantee those expectation, it's just another reason not to have them. The biblical mandate is to love God and enjoy Him forever. God is supposed to be the ultimate and greatest (not the only) source of our happiness; all other things are idols.

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